The Unintentional Gypsy 

The morning broke into stillness. The rising moment was like a searing silence in the heart. A kind of peace one is mostly unfamiliar with, except in times of extreme joy. Autumn’s musk filled the air around me, as the opening rays of the sun danced on the blanket of wet dewdrops spread across the colored lawn.  

But then that dreaded moment of foreboding that something wasn’t right pressured its way into my mind. I felt all at once, both saddened and deliriously enchanted by the profound feeling of separation from all that exists… with the exception of my own vulnerable existence.  

I walk on two planes it seems. The one directly beneath my feet and the one in the eternal space of no-time—space that lends itself to a rather floating sensation beyond the world of mortal man. What happens on this day shall change my world of Self forever, but the time is still of the making, at this moment. I move on from my morning endeavors and prepare for the day like any other day. 

I’m approaching a fork in the road. Not your classic fork found at intersections heading left or right, but one that is narrow and long where the ends meet in eternity, beyond sight, in the world of forever. But, how can this be, in the world of form, to feel such a clast of time separate in its parts and still a part of the whole? This is an explanation for another time. For now, what remains relevant is the need to move on from where I currently reside.  

Like a constantly moving stream, I move from place to place almost by force rather than pleasure or wanting. I cannot reside in stillness, for it is not of my making. It is the constant moving energy of change that drives the need and desire to Know Thyself! What else can be so profoundly elusive than the fixed idea of what we are or wish to be? 

I do not wish to be a number or a specimen to be examined, nor a rogue or force of nature yet to be discovered. No, I wish for an elusive idea of the eternal nature of Life to be my guiding light – that which drives man to the end of time. I desire to reach the ends of the fork in the road to discover there has always only been ONE road. The road that leads HOME to all that we are! To everything we faced in life. To the All of the All and everything in between. Yet, how to explain such an idea to anyone is beyond my capacity.

For it is of the Heart that this wish and desire is born, not of the Mind. To understand the Heart fully, one must first transcend the limitations of the Mind. Go beyond the immeasurable to capture the “essence” of meaning generated by any idea or concept of Self. Life is for living and it is only through living we set motion to the eternal journey back home to Self, where the true essence of our existence resides. 

2 thoughts on “The Unintentional Gypsy ”

  1. Dear Pamela Meadows, thank you for hosting a meander simultaneously inside and outside of time. Returning home, and reconciling ourselves to ourselves is a love story worth telling, worth inspiring. Trusting us and ours to hope, health, happiness and harmony.


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